


Struggimento

by sleepy_ramtsun



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types
Genre: A bit of a Slow-Burn, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Relationships, Canon-Typical Violence, Fix-It of Sorts, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mentions of Fictional Diseases, Possibly Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-19
Updated: 2018-03-28
Packaged: 2018-11-16 00:11:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 16,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11242197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sleepy_ramtsun/pseuds/sleepy_ramtsun
Summary: Struggimento(noun)- a combination of gut-churning misery and yearningLife was never meant to be experienced again. That is, by those who have long since lost hope while living altogether.The first time Nico di Angelo lived, he wished for a lot of things and regretted a hundred more.He died choking on yellow tulips.The second time Nico di Angelo lived-





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> My first multi-chapter fic aaaa I hope I can finish this hng
> 
>  
> 
> That aside, I do not Percy Jackson nor anything related to the series. Rick Riordan owns everything.
> 
> Enjoy reading!

_"You will lose everything if you do it," they warned, eyes soulless and empty as one of their spindly hands cradled a lone eyeball. "Think wisely before attempting to change Fate itself, little one."_

_In the gloomy darkness of their abode, a distant scream was heard, before abruptly being cut off by a snipping sound of the ancient shears. A dull silvery thin thread landed gently on the ground, cut in two even pieces as the once vibrant gold of Life faded when Death passed by._

_A small smile cradled his pale lips as he leaned back on the old rickety chair, evenly looking at the Three Fates with his ever milky blank gaze._

_"I would like to think that giving up my entire existence is a small price to pay for what I am given in return," he stated quietly after a moment, his voice a mere whisper as he voiced out his answer._

_Three pairs of empty sockets for eyes stared unnervingly at him, seemingly unimpressed by the bland, if not, rather generic answer._

_"To be forgotten and hailed as one of the greatest enemies in modern Graeco-Roman history, that kind of association will brand you as the official traitor of the gods and betrayer of Olympus," one of them, Atropos, mused, voice almost sounding amused at the events that will follow as the trio stared at him. "Are you ready to assume that kind of label, little son of Hades?"_

_A flash of annoyance briefly flared within himself at the nickname, before immediately quelling down as he considered their earlier words. "If no one does it," he paused for a moment, before his smile faded into something wry and weary. "Then everyone will suffer the consequences."_

_"Being heroic and shouldering all the burden always goes wrong," Lachesis said to him softly, making him shrug. Solitude and burdens never stopped him from finishing his tasks. "You have seen the fall of many a hero who thought they could handle this kind of a burden alone but gives under them in the end."_

_"But they never learn to adapt with the burden, do they?"_

_The Three Fates went silent._

_"You can never defy Fate," they insisted, their eyeless gaze becoming much more piercing and malevolent, as their answers became a mere hiss. "Everyone and everything is controlled by Fate. Even you, little one._

_"Do not presume otherwise."_

_"Ah, but if Fate was ever controlling, ever present," Nico di Angelo whispered almost inaudibly, just enough that the Fates can hear him. "Then they never would have reincarnated me in a place where I know who is going to get their happily ever after."_

_He will make sure everything will go right this time, even if he's not there to see his plan come to fruition._

_"Very well," Clotho hummed, sounding somewhat wistful as she looked down at the tapestry draped over her lap. "What the little demigod wants, he shall have. Hades' children always did have much more power over their own Fate, in a way Apollo's children don't. Are you ready to shoulder the burden, Niccolò di Angelo?"_

_"I have to," Nico whispered, before his eyes hardened. "I'm ready."_

 

 

 

 

**_"He who rewrites Fate will rewrite lives. And he who rewrites lives will rewrite history. All hail to the forgotten Angel of the Dead, the Herald of Change!"_ **


	2. Chapter One

Nico di Angelo remembered the exact moment when he began to die.

In the afternoon of August 1, 2010, at exactly 12:01:10 PM, did Nico began to fade, for the lack of a better word.

At times like this, it was when he began to curse his heritage for acutely feeling the growing stench of Death and weariness seeping through his bones like a welcomed friend. Being a child of Death, it gave him certain "advantages" when it comes to brushing against his very own life string; and the moment when he began to feel much more weary than before was enough of an indication that he was, bluntly put enough, dying.

Strangely though, it filled him with a sense of peace; even when he forgot all about it in the midst of the Giant War, all too preoccupied with a lot of things.

Everything started right after he felt Octavian's soul explode in billions of painful shards as he was catapulted towards the Earth Mother, remembering the painful throb of his heart as the augur's screams echoed through his ears. Will Solace asked what it felt like, sensing the abrupt cut of a life string, but Nico was too shaken enough to grace him a solid reply.

He felt tired that day, the coldness seeping in to his very bones but he endured it with a stony facade as he fought with Reyna and Will in stopping the feud between the two Camps. It was easy to forget and classify it as a side effect for fighting for so long, for bathing in the shadows and pain for so long just to help the one person who wouldn't even give him the time of the day on a normal time. Even then, he still forgot about the symptoms when Chiron asked him to perform the final rites of the fallen campers after everything was finished and everyone was doing the arduous process of regaining some semblance of order in Camp Half-Blood, the Roman campers helping as much as they can.

Tedious and long it was though, given the amount of casualties from both Camps, the male made sure to make every prayer sincere. The dead at least deserved that for fighting until their dying breath, that is and he would very much prefer if Hazel wasn't the one who will smell the smoke of burning corpses for ten straight hours.

In a way though, Nico supposed he was lucky that the Apollo head counselor was a steady presence throughout the Giant War and even in the aftermath; and no matter how much Nico hated to admit it, he was glad the blonde was stubborn enough to stay by his side throughout his forced stay in the infirmary and after that. Octavian and Bryce Lawrence's death did little to faze the Apollo demigod's views of him as of yet, and in the darkest corners of Nico's mind, he was glad that Will was still here, still there in that persistently annoying way of his.

The camper was Nico's wake-up call to start taking care of the state his body had been reduced to, from the excessive shadow traveling and the barely there caresses of Tartarus when he has once gone there. Patient, if not, just a large smudge exasperated, Will nursed his body into something much less bony and much, _much_ less pale before eventually, Nico could finally stomach three full meals a day.

Sure he broke down when he stood by to bravely watch Nico burn the pyres, even when everyone else turned away, but for Nico, for lonely, sulking, Nico, it was enough to make him stay just a bit longer on Camp Half-Blood and take care of himself before leaving for the final time.

His only regret was that he could never return Will's feelings for him, and he told him this so with the conviction that the other deserved someone who loved him like he loved Nico.

"Learn to give yourself much more credit, di Angelo," Will hummed fondly as the pale raven demigod helped him organize the Apollo Cabin's medical supplies. "My affection for you was well-earned, even if you do not feel the same way as I do."

It was to his relief that Will continued to become friends with him and eventually, become friends with Cecil and Lou-Ellen. And the blonde, to Nico's silent glee, soon enough got over his crush for Nico and was now, to Nico's current notice, in a happy relationship with a Hephaestus camper named Jake Mason. Will owed him one for pushing him to talk to the admittedly handsome Greek, and Nico made a mental note to call in that one before he dies.

Knowing Will, he should probably make sure to keep it as fun and ridiculous as possible just so the blonde won't notice what was wrong. He was already upset enough that Nico didn't continue to stay at Camp Half-Blood as it is.

Nico didn't stay in both Camps longer than what was necessary, only briefly dropping by to at least let the others know that he was still alive. It was going to cause him much trouble if they found out he was going to be gone sooner than planned, knowing that they would force him to stay at Camp just so they could keep an eye on him. The "death" of Leo Valdez hit them hard, and Nico had no intention of causing them much more grief with his currently ill disposition. Much less, get Will to know what was happening to him.

It was troublesome when Apollo campers get determined to cure a disease.

Not that they would be able to cure this one because apparently, Nico had to be this unlucky enough to get an incurable _and_ a mythological disease.

Yes, Nico di Angelo, the resident Ghost King and one of the children of the Big Three, has the famed Hanahaki Disease.

Which was the rarest and probably the saddest disease of all, in his dearest step-mother's opinion.

At least, that's what Persephone told him when he began to cough up white lilies in the middle of the annual family dinner. A ghostly servant hurriedly began to sweep at the fallen flowers, whose color was so bright and out of place in the doom and gloom of his father's palace that Nico's eyes hurt to even look at them. He awkwardly patted away the remaining flowers on his lap, as Demeter excused herself from the meal.

"The Hanahaki disease is an illness born from one-sided love, where the victims throws up and coughs of flower petals when they suffer from one-sided love, boy," Persephone sniffed, looking at him with knowing eyes as Hades stiffened beside her. Her eyes lacked the same judging look he was used to seeing, merely filled with understanding and if not, just the slightest bit of sympathy for Nico di fucking Angelo. "It's incurable—"

"Except when you drink the water from the Underworld that connects all of the Rivers," Hades cut her off stiffly, oil black eyes piercing in to Nico's frozen form. "As once you drink the water, all of your emotions will disappear. You will live, yes. But you will never be able to feel love for anyone else that Prometheus bestowed upon you mortals a long time ago. This is not the time to let our fatal flaw dictate your decision, my son. Make sure to choose wisely."

Oh right, his feelings for a certain demigod.

He remembered asking where had it began after a moment of stunned silence, and after sharing a look with Persephone, Hades began to reluctantly explain.

"Once, eons and eons ago, where Zeus was just crowned as the King of the Gods and when humankind still used to build a temple for us, Aphrodite fell in love with a mortal that worshiped your grandmother. The mortal was unaware of her status as a goddess, ignorant to the rules Aphrodite was breaking just to make him immortal and hers to keep," Hades rumbled, looking thoughtful as he stared at his plate. "She even demanded I order Thanatos against reaping her beloved's soul once his time had come. Reluctant as I was to oppose the natural order but nonetheless, Thanatos swore on the River Styx never to reap Irus' soul under Aphrodite's presence. Yes, she was that deeply in love.

"The mortal loved her too, often bringing her flowers every time they meet. A different flower for a different day, as far as I was concerned. He never knew the meaning of every flower he had given to Aphrodite, save of course, the meaning behind the red rose but the goddess loved him all the same. I believe he was a simple farmer, a commoner compared to the dozens of lovers every god choose over the course of time. He was poor, but his love for her was nothing unlike Aphrodite had ever seen. He made Aphrodite _love_ _._ But unfortunately, she loved a dying human," Hades finished bluntly, making Nico flinch before he softened his tone some, "he died, Nico. His last flower to the goddess of love was a brilliant scarlet amaryllis just when she asked him to be her immortal husband and reveal all of her heritage to him in the first morning of spring, promising to protect him from anyone trying to exact revenge to the goddess and loving him so dearly until the end of time. And on that same day, when Irus was to die after the sun sets; he rejected Aphrodite's confession of love and offer, doubting the intensity of her love as he knew gods and other immortals' emotions are fickle, destined to change and morph and Irus would rather spend his entire life merely having a glimpse than be bared to Aphrodite's emotions for the rest of eternity.

"He never came to the Underworld, due to Thanatos' sworn order not to reap his soul as he passed on, prompting Aphrodite to turn his soul into a single, red rose with white tips which she kept on her temple on Olympus even up to this day. Reincarnation was impossible for his very soul was engraved on the eternal symbol of the Lady Aphrodite."

"Aphrodite never loved another mortal as much as she loved Irus, even now," Persephone murmured, daintily picking a white lily the servant failed to sweep. "And in her grief, she made a curse. It was popularly known as the Hanahaki Disease today, but before it was called Irus' Curse, for Irus made a goddess love too much, get attached too much to a single dying mortal that doubted her promises to him and in turn, doubted the intensity of her love due to her status as a goddess. It was a doomed love from the start, and Aphrodite cursed those who had loved like she had loved Irus but sadly, are not loved in return to cough up every flower Irus had sent to her when he first loved her. It is incurable save for the outright murder of one's emotions and if, and only if, the one you love returns the same affection as you bestowed upon them before."

"How long...?"

"Three years. As Irus met and loved Aphrodite in a span of three mortal years," Hades replied solemnly, and Nico knew that he had to leave.

It was only Nico's consolation that the Hanahaki was not as affecting him from his daily lifestyle that he could _almost_ fool himself that he wasn't sick. Almost.

Everyday, he would find dozens and dozens of vibrant flowers littered around him. Some resting on his chest and at times, just sitting prettily on his head like some warped flower crown.

But most times, he would just cough and a fresh carnation would fall in his hands. A simple cough for a vibrant flower; Nico didn't want to think how his body could even make those plants and expel it without him choking at the sheer amount and size.

It was as disturbing as it is fascinating.

Hazel almost caught the flowers once, when she suddenly Iris-Messaged him while he was doing his rounds on the Fields of Asphodel. Red tulips littered around him as he exploded into a fit of coughs.

"Nico?"

The raven-haired male jerked, shadows quickly coming to swallow the tulips up as Hazel's concerned face shimmered into view. The outline of Camp Half-Blood peered behind her, the vibrant green of the forest making Nico blink as he greeted Hazel in reply.

"Where have you been?" she asked, voice thick with exasperation and worry as she tried look into at the desolate land behind him, "Nico, why are you in the Underworld again? You know you're still recovering! Gods, Will would be furious if he sees you so fast back into the place that tried to make you fade!"

"I'm fine, Hazel," Nico pinched the bridge of his nose, vaguely dreading when he felt a cough rising through his trachea, "And I've been doing well here."

The tanned girl deadpanned, luminous eyes flat and unimpressed.

"I can see the shadows on your cheekbones, Nico di Angelo."

Nico winced, a slight yelp emitting from his lips as he choked down an increasingly building violent cough.

Hurriedly, he began to swipe away at the Mist. Nico would die before his sister will know about his condition.

"I will visit Camp as soon as I can," he murmured hoarsely, lips curling just the slightest in apology at Hazel's frown. "But for now, it is best to leave me for a while."

A passing soul tilted his head in confusion as he stared at them, before being gently pushed by the son of Hades as he felt his chest heave with the urge to cough explosively.

Persephone warned him against holding back coughs.

"Please stay for a while," Hazel pleaded, as her form already began to shudder. "It's Percy and Annabeth's last year at Camp before they'll leave for New Rome. And Jason wants to see you before he and Piper go to Greece!"

His barely-there smile strained not to fall.

"Goodbye, Hazel."

Watching the Mist disperse, Nico finally allowed himself a moment to shakily exhale. He's going to b—

He choked.

A torrent of hyacinths flooded the grounds of Asphodel, each tainted with a fresh stream of blood as it fluttered to the ground.

"Silly boy," he heard Persephone murmur as he heaved on his knees, sensing a ghost of a touch on his head as his eyes watered from the exertion. His chest ached, as he panted for breath. "Holding it back will just make it worse. Must you always feel the need to hide everything from mortals that consider you as a friend?"

And that was the last time Nico could have sworn he sensed sadness coating his step-mother's voice, delirious from both pain and lack of oxygen coming into his body.

At the very least now, Nico actually had a concrete answer of why he can't just _stay_ in either of the two Camps.

 

 

 

 

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

 

 

 

 

On his first year of being sick, Nico managed to do a lot of things.

He likened to think he can coin the term, "I'll go out with a bang!" or something like that on his last day in the future. So he made sure to make amends and stop pitying himself for a while and have a hand in falling in love with the idea of actually being alive.

It's amazing how contracting a terminal illness can make one change their view on most things, that is, if Nico could ever bring himself to physically admit it.

He made Persephone like him at least enough to give him braided flowers crowns whenever he dropped by the Underworld during her stay. Hades had been the most happy—well, as happy as the god of Underworld can be at their increasingly prolonged interaction (who knew studying the meaning of flowers and some of their uses can make the disease a bit more bearable to endure?) Charon no longer asked for money whenever he towed the male through the River Styx, oil-slick eyes warm enough to him when Nico asked his father to improve the immortal's salary pay a little while after the Giant War had gone.

His relationship with his father hadn't changed, but Nico appreciated the entertaining talks whenever Hades wasn't irritated by the amount of souls passing through his realm for the day.

His father never said he was proud, but the soft curve of his lips while they talked about the latest episode in Doctor Who was enough of an indication of how far his regard for Nico had came.

(Okay, so maybe Nico had been having way too much fun in having his nerd phase, as he likened to call it with his dad. TV marathons at the Underworld is weird but doable. And hey, even Thanatos drops by to watch with them every once in a while.)

The highlight though, of his first year was that Leo, apparently, was still alive. He had been the first one to read the Latino's letter, only vaguely surprised when he mentioned about his new immortal girlfriend Calypso, the goddess of the famed island of Ogygia.

If he had been a lesser being he would have taken pride at being correct in his suspicions but for now, Nico contented himself with being smug.

Anyway, Nico felt uncomfortable when he had to call the rest of the Seven (at Will's orders because honestly, he preferred to shadow travel the letter around instead) as the moment he finished reading the letter,  Hazel and Piper broke down while the other sons of the Big Three slumped over in relief. The letter didn't indicate an address nor any indication where the son of Hephaestus was living but one thing's for sure, Leo was no longer in Ogygia, along with Calypso.

Percy looked troubled when Calypso was mentioned, but Nico knew better than to ask. Annabeth would know what to do, no need to bring his snarky remarks out as a way to comfort the other.

He celebrated his fifteenth birthday in Camp Jupiter for a change, buying himself a small chocolate cake before Reyna spotted him lighting up the lone candle in the dark of Pluto's temple. She had been doing a surprise round around the Cohorts' quarters, and caught him trying and failing to flicker the match as he hunched over in the corner.

Hades has already sent his regards, complete with a matching set of vials filled with rosy pink liquid that he obtained especially from Aphrodite. A debt collected, was the god's cryptic words. But his father explained in the letter that it could help ease the increasing pain with each passing day, but sadly, could never prolong his life any more than exactly three years. It was as equally well-received with gratitude as it was accepted with knowing resignation.

"Nico? What..." she trailed off in confusion until she spotted the cake on the floor. "Is that a cake? Who's it for?"

Nico debated whether to tell her or not, but Reyna managed to put everything together as she froze.

"It's," her voice was nearly inaudible but Nico caught the shaky beginning of a statement rather than a question, "it's your birthday today, isn't it?"

Heaving an inaudible sigh as he managed to break another match stick yet again, Nico stood up and nodded stiffly to Reyna's direction.

"How old are you today, Nico?" Reyna murmured quietly, eyes nothing short of horrified and what was probably shame as he shrugged nonchalantly.

No one knew what his birthday was so why not change it in the meantime?

He was going to die anyway.

Might as well let them know one boring fact about the son of Hades, er, Pluto.

"Fifteen would be my age but if you count the years," Nico pretended to think before adding in the driest tone he could muster, "I'm well over eighty now since I'm born in 1931."

And that was the last time Nico had spent his birthday alone on the day Bianca died on the quest for Artemis.

Who knew Romans were _that_ determined to make a good feast?

Not to mention, the rest of the Seven came in just in time before the clock turned twelve. Though late and no small amount heaving with guilt, Percy had given him a large set of clothes (thankfully all in the darkest shade of blue it can almost pass as black) and a new bomber jacket (with the exact same shade, patches, and everything that Nico's own jacket well, used to look like), complete with his mother's blue homemade cookies.

"Don't apologize, Jackson," Nico interrupted bluntly, before his lips curled into the same barely-there smile as his heart skipped painfully. "It's okay."

"But..." Nico repressed the urge to fidget when Percy looked utterly crestfallen. "But how long have you been...?"

Luckily for him, Annabeth popped in between them with a soft smile.

"Happy birthday, Nico," she greeted him politely, before thrusting a thick leather tome in his unsuspecting arms. "I hope you're doing well."

Though, judging by her knowing eyes, the daughter of Athena knew better. She was always inquisitive, but Nico wasn't keen on being scrutinized for the time being.

"Annabeth!" Percy was quick to yelp, snatching the book from Nico as he stared at her in alarm. "You can't have Nico carry heavy things yet! He's still recovering!"

"Stop treating me like a child," Nico was quick to counter, slightly grunting when he took the book back. "I'm fifteen, not ten."

Waving Percy's pouting face away, he turned his back on the Golden Couple when he heard Annabeth snicker at his reply.

He was glad it was dark enough that no one noticed the falling yellow daffodil from his mouth.

The rest gave their own gifts, some ad simple as a bracelet but there were others who went a little too far like a random pot of weed appearing under the sink of his bathroom. Centurions and Senators alike came to give him gifts too, and Nico appreciated it all despite the fact that they were just trying to kill him a little over a year ago from being a traitor.

Oh well, his fatal flaw _is_ holing grudges so he can't complain about the absurdity of the events.

Letting go was hard, but it was liberating than it was holding on.

But for now, Nico's first year had passed by without any major hitches.

He prayed the peace would continue.

 

 

 

 

 

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

 

 

 

 

 

His second year, was, as Persephone predicted, when the illness began to take its toll.

It was still memorable, if Nico could only ignore the moments he couldn't even muster the power to get up and start doing his daily routine of wake up, eat, travel, pass out, wake up, eat, then explore the country that he landed in on that time.

He even began passing out in the middle of the streets too, only to wake up back in his room in the Underworld and about a hundred of blue hydrangeas littered on his sheet to the point of overflowing, some resting on the ground. Oh and with Jules-Albert smiling serenely at him from his perch on the eastern wall overlooking Persephone's garden.

_Ah, the joy._

Hades had been unhappy with every development, though Nico had yet to heard him voice out the thought of him staying at either Camp Half-Blood or Camp Jupiter just to be on the safe side. Other than having Jules-Albert as a permanent travel companion, the god of the Underworld remained silent about Nico's increasing vulnerability.

He'd like to think it was out of consideration but given that Apollo had disappeared and that in itself screams trouble because apparently Rachel hadn't been able to receive prophecies from the spirite of the Oracle of Delphi, so his father had been a bit busy conversing with the Three Fates about the faith of the boisterous sun god and the sudden halt of prophecies for the demigods know. From what Jules-Albert tells him whenever he would eavesdrop right at the cave of the immortal Fates, Zeus had been keeping silent as well as the rest of the gods barring Artemis regardng Apollo's whereabouts.

Nico knew he had met Apollo once, when he was teaching Thalia how to ride the sun chariot a long time ago and Will looked to be inheriting the sun god's best traits, well anything other than having a knack for writing haikus is a best trait for him but still. Will might have kissed him for that one, due to his extreme love for his dad but at least Jake was there to stop the blonde from doing anything reckless. Really, for a doctor, Will was too much of a hazard when left alone.

Friend or not, Nico still valued his private bubble and wouldn't hesitate in a heartbeat to deck Will's face if he even tried to kiss him, no matter if he felt guilty of it afterwards. A "prude" was what Cecil liked to call him whenever he would dodge the blonde's over-enthusiastic hugs when he would drop by at Camp Half-Blood, with Lou-Ellen snickering right beside the son of Hermes but Nico was comfortable enough with the demigod to ignore the teasing remark.

Nico liked to think of it as a healthy way not to let them get too attached.

Anyway, he was getting distracted.

He had been getting weaker, slowly but surely. No matter how many times he had done a rigorous workout, if he was so much as battling the spirit of Achilles then he was at sword-point before he could so much as block the other's weapon.

Another cross out on the things he used to do before.

"Are you all right?" Achilles asked in confusion after Nico failed to get the other at sword-point for the nth time, regally putting his sword back in his sheath while Patroclus hovered worriedly around the stunned Ghost King. "Normally you would have been able to switch yours at sword-point the minute I stepped inside your ah, personal bubble was it? And we would be at an impasse right now. Perhaps you have been neglecting your training routines? Or are you not feeling well?"

The raven haired male felt woozy, as he sensed Patroclus' callused hands cupping his face gently to stare at him with soulful dark eyes.

"Achilles!" Patroclus admonished softly, aristocratic features pinched into a frown as he made Nico sit down on the soft grasses of Elysium. "Nico? Is it all right if I ask you in question?"

Nico coughed, and an orange gladiolus fell on his lap.

The silence that followed was more than enough of an answer than Patroclus and Achilles could ever hope for.

"By the gods," Patroclus murmured, voice tinged with sorrow and surprise as he looked down at the lone flower, "who have you given your heart to, little Nico di Angelo?"

At the soft, gentle tone of the fallen soldier, the son of Hades felt his nose began to twitch as his eyes stung with a shimmer of tears. A lone breeze swept by, making him choke wetly as he coughed out another flower. The sheer empathy alone behind the warrior's words did little to comfort Nico's internal war.

He's just so, so tired.

His chest throbbed in tandem with his heart, the sharp, intrusive pain just barely making him gasp at the agony as he coughed and coughed.

Orange decorated their sparring area.

"I have given my heart to someone who loves another. Someone I had longed for a long, long time," Nico finally murmured, finally closing his eyes in an effort to stop the tears as he let his head drop on Patroclus' semi-solid shoulder. "This is my second year now. And it seems like I'll be seeing you guys much more permanently now, after all."

"Well, we can't have that," Achilles replied firmly behind him, making Nico stir, "Nico, from now on I must ask you not to visit us again. Or visit anyone in Elysium again, for that matter."

Nico stiffened, mouthing opening for a heated retort but Achilles was having none of that.

"We wish for you to enjoy the living as much as you can, create memories to remember by so that you'll have another story to tell to us," Achilles continued, hand coming to rest heavily on a thin shoulder as Nico nodded weakly, "when you return here for good."

"We appreciate you keeping us old heroes company," Patroclus soothed the burn of the other's words with a gentle smile, "but you must understand that we would want nothing more than for you to be happy, even with your curse. You have been more than a sparring companion to Achilles and I, and that is being our friend."

"When you need us, we are always here," Achilles rumbled solemnly, "but when you need others, don't ever come back until you find them and talk."

And that, pretty much summed up the rest of Nico's second year of being sick.

"Nico!" Hazel cried when he managed to shadow travel (this was one of the last few times he got to shadow travel) right in the middle of a Senate meeting, barely able to catch her as she tackled him in a hug.

"Hazel," he murmured, patting her curly locks awkwardly as Reyna approached him with alarming intent. The rest of the Senators whispered among themselves, before they respectfully inclined their head to the Ambassador of Pluto.

Personally, Nico preferred they respecting him than killing him for being a spy.

"I'm afraid I will have to adjourn this meeting for now," the daughter of Bellona announced as she walked, never losing her focus as she met Nico's eyes. "Praetor Zhang, do you agree with my decision?" 

Frank's confirmation followed by instantly, after a quick look to Hazel's imploring face.

"I second Praetor Ramírez-Arellano's decision."

It wasn't long before the temple was cleared out and Nico found himself giving a firm hug on the female demigod. His lungs throbbed insistently, sheer willpower just barely keeping him from scratching at his chest with ferocity. Reyna would be the last person he wants to show weakness in. She had already saw him at his lowest, and even when she considered him highly as a friend, there was always that lingering fear that one day, she would abandon him like everyone did as soon as nothing was going on.

"Welcome back, Nico di Angelo." Even a fool could sense the smile and happiness radiating from Reyna's strict countenance as she stepped back and dipped her head politely in greeting, making Nico do the same thing in return. His worn, dirt-ridden, black, open-toed sandals looked extremely out of place against the shiny marble surface of the Senate floor.

"It's good to have you back, Nico," Frank beamed as he bowed, making his lips twitch as he dipped his head in reply. 

No one could really carry the purple cape like Reyna does. All with elegance and cautiousness born from years and years of battle.

"Thank you for having me."

"Come on, let's eat at the Mess Hall!" Hazel looked so radiant as she slipped her fingers into his own callused ones, dragging him gently out of the spacious room with Reyna and Frank following behind. "You have some explaining to do, big brother, for not visiting for so long and blocking our Iris-Messages."

Against his will, Nico chuckled lowly enough for Hazel to widen her eyes in surprise.

Oh right, no one had ever heard him laugh before.

"I'll be staying here for a while," he assured at her questioning look, making her grin so widely that Nico couldn't help flick her forehead in teasing affection. "But for now, let's eat?"

"I missed you," Hazel whispered, just enough for him to blink before his lips twitched into a small smile. He could do some things, but not all.

"I missed you too, Hazel."

A little while later before a very familiar voice made Nico's stomach lurch.

"Nico? Nico! Gods, is that you?"

"Death Breath, long time no see." Is that...Thalia? Nico squinted through his lightly blurry eyes, cursing not for the first time his worsening symptoms. As long as he has to, he'll put off the inevitable wearing of glasses as much as he can.

"Pinecone face?"

"The one and only," Nico felt himself smile at the obvious joy the daughter of Zeus had, arms slinging on Jason's shoulders in what seemed like a vice-grip as the blonde struggled to get away. "We have a lot to catch up on, mh?"

"Yeah," he replied before grunting as as Percy all but tackled him into he ground. He stifled a cry of raw agony, forcing himself to take deep, whistling pants through gritted teeth as he willed himself to focus on the sensation of Percy actually hugging him.

A long time ago, he would have never imagined the other was actually touching him.

But, he guessed, dying changed his view on a lot of things. Oh, and manners too.

It had been so gradual, so slow that Nico reeled back at just how different he was compared to before.

A bitter smile ghosted his lips for a quick moment, before he mentally shook it off. The abrupt sensation of pain nearly made him hurl.

"Heavy," he grunted, somehow still managing to push Percy away through his pained haze. "Get off, Jackson."

And just like that, everyone crowded around him like it was his birthday all over again, doing little in minding his personal space as he was hugged, touched and kissed on the cheek by overly affectionate Romans and Greeks. Hazel giggled when Nico kicked Jason in the shin when the latter attempted to kiss his left cheek, huffing as the son of Jupiter cried out in pain.

He had finally found everyone, all that's left is to talk to them.

One year away from his death now.

Nico still hoped he wouldn't have to tell them of his condition.

(And if he was hurt that Hazel didn't even notice the stench of Death hovering around him, well, no one has to know.)

 

 

 

 

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

 

 

 

 

 

"Come and help me tend to the snapdragons, boy," Persephone beckoned to the raven-haired male slumped over one of the metal garden chairs on the vast expanse of greens and rainbows. "Laziness does not suit you."

In the eerie haziness of the sky of the Underworld, Persephone's vibrant personal garden did little to deter the gloom from wrapping the greenery like a black, suffocating cloth. It stayed serene enough that Nico half-expected to see butterflies flying around and suckling on the large, blooming flowers but as it stands, only ghost butterflies fluttered around in thin, grey wisps.

It filled Nico with a sick sense of humor that no matter how many "life" blooming in the Underworld, only the dead can come and appreciate it.

"I assure you, being ill does not suit me at all," Nico grumbled, eyes dark and piercing even though his body was bone-deep in exhaustion. "Give me a minute and I'll go there. And no, don't call Jules-Albert to help me, Persephone. I am not an old man."

The goddess tsked, shaking her head before she set down the watering can on the ground.

"Nico," she sighed, turning around to face him with an unimpressed look, "I thought we went over this, child."

What a joke. 

"I'm sick, not an invalid," Nico griped back, before gripping the metal armrests and heaving himself up. "What do you want me to do?"

Goddamn Nico di fucking Angelo who survived the trip to Tartarus alone, who led the battle in Manhattan a long while back, who shadow-traveled the Athena Parthenos halfway across the world couldn't even fucking walk normally like he used to. What a fucking joke.

Taking ginger, wobbly steps towards his step-mother as his forehead beaded with sweat, Nico couldn't help but wonder for the umpteenth time on just what he had done to deserve this kind of torture. A cough took him by surprise, forcing him on his knees as he choked out purple larkspurs through the prickling throb of his lungs.

This was worse when he drunk the water in Phlegethon while he was in Tartarus.

Much, much worse because Nico can feel the stench of Death clinging on every pore now.

"Beautiful spirit," Persephone hummed, kneeling beside him as she picked a lone larkspur in her slender hands. Nevermind that it just came out from Nico's mouth a little over a while ago, that is. "But it can also mean first love, considering its color."

She swept the hundreds of fallen larkspurs with a flick of her hand, disappearing instantly except for the one she was holding on to.

"The irony on the meaning of the flower is not lost to me, thank you very much," Nico grunted when she placed it on his left ear, nose scrunched up in silent agony as the aftermath of the cough lingered. "Kill me now so that you don't have to trouble yourself with babysitting me on your days here."

His lungs felt like it was on fire. 

And he had enough proof and experience to back _that_ statement.

"Ever the drama queen," Persephone replied sweetly as she graciously ignored the last statement, before her porcelain features became serious, "but how long are you going to wait until you tell your friends, boy?"

Nico shrugged, shoulders jerking up weirdly as he tried to zone in on the conversation as best as he could as pain coursed through his veins. 

"So you weren't even planning to tell them," Persephone hummed, looking just the slightest bit disappointed before her expression cleared up, "haven't I told you that sooner or later, they would notice that something was off?"

"Don't act as if you're my mother, step-mother," Nico murmured tiredly, unable to even muster enough venom as he sensed the condescension on her tone. "I assure you, as far as they know, I'm either travelling the world, scouting new demigods, or doing errands for Father."

"Which, I tell you, is regretfully untrue," Persephone reminded him all too cheerfully, making him roll his eyes.

"I don't want to have this conversation anymore," he grumbled, knowing better than to listen to his previously uncaring step-mother when she got going, "I'm going back to my room."

"Whether you like it or not Nico di Angelo, you are going to sit down here and talk."

He froze, before slumping back to his original seat as the power behind the order made him obey. Tendrils of grass wrapped itself around him firmly, tight enough to cause some trouble in escaping but not suffocating enough that he couldn't breath.

That is, if he can even muster enough energy to shadow-travel anymore. 

_Damnit._

"I may have been unhappy with your existence at first, child," Persephone sniffed before her eyes softened ever so slightly, "but even I cannot help on what I feel when I see you suffering. Hades may have been able to hide it from you by how much he worries by focusing his work but I have seen him arguing with the Fates when it comes to matter of your life. You may have accepted that dying may be the next best thing you'll ever experience but I'll have you know that keeping the truth about your illness will cause much more devastating effects on your friends than you originally thought."

"They're happy enough with their lives as it is."

"Really?" Persephone didn't look convinced, "explain it to me then when that half-sister of yours suddenly appeared on the gates of the Underworld demanding that Hades come and stop you from running errands for him and go to Camp Jupiter immediately when Jason and Piper I believe returned from their expedition?"

What.

It took a couple of seconds before the information reached Nico's brain.

Wait, what? But she feared Hades enough that she couldn't even bring herself to come down to the Underworld for the annual family dinners!

"Hazel," Nico swallowed the sudden lump on his throat as he blinked in confusion, "Hazel...did that?"

"You'll be surprised by how much she was rearing to go fight with your father," Persephone shrugged, holding out a finger as a ghost butterfly came close to them. "Truly, you mortals have an outstanding sense of fearlessness especially when it concerns the people you love. Shameless might be a fitting word but oh well.

"You should return to them for the remainder of your days," Persephone continued, patting his head as she went to stand up and walk towards a nearby cluster of blue roses. "It's time to stop running away, Nico di Angelo. Your father wasn't proud to have you as his son for nothing."

Proud?

"Believe me," Persephone lowered her voice as she turned to look back at him with a soft expression, "anyone would have been proud if they got to know you."

Nico felt his breath come out in a surprised wheeze.

Proud? Of him?

Gods, he must have been delirious with pain for Persephone to say this. A sudden sharp spike of pain prevented him from laughing. He must have been a really sorry sight for Persephone to bring herself to comfort him with words.

Persephone sighed, seemingly hearing his thoughts as she pinched her nose in irritation while narrowing her eyes.

"If I know for one second that you think all I'm saying is complete bullshit then I will not hesitate to turn you into a flower for real," she stated flatly, making Nico jerk in surprise at her choice of words. "Do not twist my words into believing that I am only being this nice because you are going to die in six months' time, Nico. I am much more capable than that. But if you really are stubborn then I will be sending you to Camp Half-Blood. Now. I don't take too kindly to being mocked at, boy."

"You can't be serious," Nico replied in disbelief, just barely getting his composure back before the goddess snapped her fingers. "You can't just send me—"

"I can and I will," Persephone's tone booked no arguments. "I will deal with your father's fury in due time but for now, if you are still incapable of believing your own worth then I'm afraid I will have to banish you from the Underworld until I see fit. You have been banned from Elysium and yet you still continue to stay here at the Underworld up until almost half of your third year. And until you can't tell the truth to your friends about your condition especially to that half-sister of yours, then you might as well consider Camp Half-Blood as your home for now.

The last thing he saw was a ghost butterfly hovering near his nose before darkness consumed him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Should I continue or...


	3. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if this is a bit short and a little bit wacky because I'm super spaced out while writing the end of the chapter. That aside, thank you for all the comments omg >.< I'll do my best to make sure the following chapters after this are much more thought out and coherent hnrgg

 

* * *

 

 

"Everyone give him some space!"

Jason's frustrated yell instantly met Nico's waking mind. The son of Hades barely repressed a violent shudder as the aftermath of his abrupt banishment from the Underworld started to take its toll.

He doubled over and hurled out a glob of fresh blood, tears just barely hanging on to his lower eyelids as sheer agony coursed through him.

_Why is it so cold...?_

"Nico!" It took a few moments to register the son of Jupiter's face hovering across him worriedly, making him blink through blurry eyes. "Nico, what happened?"

"Tired," he slurred, tasting iron in his mouth as he looked down at his chest. Three identical slashes of what looked like a hellhound's claws ripped through his black shirt, red oozing lazily at the gaping wounds. "What...?"

 _ **Forgive**_ _ **me**_ _ **for**_ _ **giving**_ _ **you**_ _ **such**_ _ **a**_ _ **grievous**_ _ **injury**_ _ **but**_ _ **it**_ _ **would**_ _ **be**_ _ **next**_ _ **to**_ _ **impossible**_ _ **if**_ _ **they**_ _ **inquire**_ _ **about**_ _ **ypur**_ _ **admittedly**_ _ **sorry**_ _ **state**_ _ **after**_ _ **shadow**_ _ **traveling**_ _ **.**_ Persephone's voice cut through his dazed mind, making him blow out a wheezy sigh. _**Rest**_ _ **assured**_ _ **that**_ _ **it**_ _ **is**_ _ **not**_ _ **life-threatening**_ _ **,**_ _ **merely**_ _ **crippling**_ _ **and**_ _ **painful**_ _ **for**_ _ **a**_ _ **long**_ _ **while**_ _ **.**_

"Just...gonna...a while..." he murmured, allowing his heavy eyes to shut down in defeat.

Distantly, he heard Piper scream about Iris Messaging Hazel and the others from Camp Jupiter as Jason shouted at him to stay awake.

_Goddamn meddling stepmothers..._

"Sleep..."

 _**I** _ _**heard** _ _**that** _ _**but** _ _**this** _ _**is** _ _**for** _ _**your** _ _**own** _ _**good** _ _**.** _

"No you won't, Death Boy!" Will's furious yell made him jerk, before groaning in pain as his mauled chest protested vehemently at his sudden actions. "You are going to stay awake or so help me I will bring you back from the dead and kick your scrawny ass!"

Barely surprised at Will's scathing words, Nico opened his blurry eyes. A tanned blob made his lips twitch into a smile.

"At least I'm home now, aren't I?"

Someone must have been out to get him for making him say those words before immediately passing out.

 

 

 

 

 

 

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The familiar cream-colored ceiling of the Apollo cabin greeted him as soon as he woke up, making his lips twitch into small smile before various aches and pain made itself known as soon as he fully woke up.

"Kill me..." he groaned, barely resisting urge to curl up on his side as his chest throbbed in tandem with his heart. Every breath felt like it was swallowing a mouthful of thorns, scraping his pained trachea with vindictive glee.

"I gladly would," Will's chirpy voice made him freeze before relaxing, as his haggard face met his blurry eyes. "But I made a oath to never hurt my patients ever since I became the head healer unless they are on their way to pleasant recovery. Unfortunately, you're still not on that road but I'm glad to see you awake and breathing, di Angelo. Or should I say, stupid ass Death Boy?"

"How long have I been out?" Nico grumbled instead, blinking slowly as Will gingerly helped him sit up, slipping in some pillows against the headboard of the infirmary bed. A moment of visual clarity made him see the son of Apollo's pinched face, eyes sporting deep bags before everything dulled again.

"Two weeks."

His heart jumping in surprise before he forced himself to calm down, Nico leaned heavily against the pillows behind his back. It was getting longer and longer for him to recover after every injury and he feared the time when he would be confined to a bed while wasting away.

"You don't look so surprised," Will pointed out suspiciously, eyes somewhat narrowing, that is at least Nico thought it _was_ narrowing.

Debating whether to tell the truth or not, his chest twinged painfully; and recalling his stepmother's voice, Nico decided against it.

"It's normal," he shrugged, managing somehow to look nonchalant as the tanned blonde gaped at him. "It's nothing new."

Will looked actually dumbstruck for a moment before a furious and a somewhat hurt (?) look crossed his face as he abandoned all pretense of being kind.

Personally, Nico took joy in getting under the normally patient healer's skin but now, he was wary about the different yet so painfully familiar look on his face as the son of Apollo stalked towards him.

"You know what? You better start talking what the flying fuck happened to you for the last two years or else I'm going to tell everyone just how many times you nearly had a heart failure while I was treating you and I'm going to tell you this, it's not a single digit," Will threatened, blue eyes turning into fine cold chips of ice as he leaned towards him angrily. "What the actual fuck, Nico? I thought we were past this hiding bullshit after the Giant War ended."

Against his will, Nico flinched. Unable to stomach the disappointment swirling in Will's face, he glared feebly at his blurred fingers. He ached to tell Will what was wrong with him, so much that his heart gave a painful lurch but he _can't._

He still remembered the pure terror, the raw fear when Will saw Jake's battered body being brought to the infirmary when the son of Hephaestus helped a satyr find a potential demigod in the outskirts of New York. It was only Jake's luck that he survived with nothing but faint scars to remind of his deadly encounter with Gorgons, even luckier that he hadn't faced Medusa herself.

Up to this day, Nico hadn't had the heart to tell Will how Thanatos had been lounging in Jake's room for weeks after the accident, nor Jake himself for that matter. The god of Death explained just how feeble Jake's life string is, and Nico could testify his claims when he felt the other's life string for the first time (under the god of death's careful watch of course).

The kind of vulnerability he experienced after a fleeting touch to the flickering string was something he never wanted to feel again.

It was all too easy.

One more tug from the outside and Jake would have been undoubtedly dead. Or maybe one tug from him as enough to end the son of Hephaestus' life.

"I'll be with you on your last two months," Thanatos stated to him quietly when Jake woke up, a lone raven feather resting at his feet before the god disappeared.

"How much do you know about mythological diseases?" Nico sensed himself ask, making Will blink in confusion before he hardened his gaze. Shadows began to lick under his bed as he waited anxiously for Will's reply. He may not have been controlling them anymore but they know who their master is.

"Nico, I swear if this anoth—"

"It's not," Nico interrupted him, driven by a strange sense of urgency as he spotted the setting sun on one of the open windows of the infirmary, "just answer the question...please."

It was rare for him to say please, but he used it to his every advantage as Will exhaled sharply through his nose before deciding to play along.

"Well, not a lot, but I do know some things," Will's lips curved ever so slightly in nostalgia before shaking his head. "Mom was obsessed with learning all about it ever since I was born."

"Tell me what you know."

"Let's see, there's the Codon Zero which isn't really that fatal in spite the ominous name; the Dar-Kosis, I think, but it's really morbid since you're literally wasting away; and the Despotellis, which can kill you in minutes!" Will systematically counted off with a certain amount of eagerness that would have disturbed someone but Nico, making Nico blink as he patiently waited for him to finish, "and then there's this Hourman virus that last much longer than the Despotellis and Zeus' beard, the Hanahaki Disease! Mom was really obsessed with that one because it apparently causes the victims to throw up different flowers for every single day in a span of three years before dying. She said it was a disease born from an unrequited love, I thin—wait. Hold on for a second but why the question Nico?"

Nico tried to swallow around the sudden lump in his throat.

The look of honest puzzlement and curiosity was too much for Nico to bear.

"They're not..." Nico's voice was barely a whisper as he looked at his hands, "...mythical, Solace."

His chest heaved, and he could almost acutely sense how his lungs shuddered when a lump began to form in his throat.

_How convenient._

"What the hell do you mean? You can't possib—"

The timing couldn't have gone better.

A cough escaped Nico's cracked lips, and a violet anemone flower landed on his cupped hands.

Its stark color contrasted greatly to his pasty-white skin, vaguely feeling warm in his hands as his nose twitched with the faint scent of the flower. His chest gave a painful twinge, but it was easier to ignore than the previous spasms he'd been having in his room the day before Persephone all but dropped him into Camp Half-Blood.

The following silence was deafening, as Will's words died on his lips.

He didn't look up when Will stopped talking, one hand coming to caress the vibrant flower as he registered the meaning with an astounding amount of dullness.

His fingers came away stained with red.

"No. No, no, no, no, _no,"_   Will muttered in a weak voice  as he fell his knees in front of the son of Death, shaky hands coming to cup Nico's too-thin hands with aching gentleness and making Nico look at him with a small curl in his lips as the son of Apollo but begged him to take his words back. "No, this can't be true. Nico tell me this is just a joke because it's not funny anymore."

His lungs throbbed when he saw the raw devastation on the blonde's face.

"They're called anemone flowers," he quietly explained in lieu of a blunt reply, coughing out another one and watching it fall on the white sheets in a fluttering heap, "it symbolizes anticipation, or so they say."

His heart squeezed when Will let out an anguished wail, burying his face besides Nico's right thigh.

It was all too similar to what he had heard when Jake nearly died.

"Gods, how long...?"

"Six months left," Nico replied, suddenly feeling exhausted as he closed his eyes. The unspoken accusation made him sigh as Will took a shuddering breath that soon broke off into a sob. "I was busy and you guys are too. It was better if all of you didn't know."

He should have known better to say that because the instant his eyes opened to squint at Will's form, the blonde looked ready to explode.

"How can it be better?!" Will shrieked as he shot up, face blotchy as he tried not to cry. "How can it be fucking better when for the last fucking two years you've been suffering from choking out goddamn flowers while we sit here and live the lives we thought we couldn't have after we turned eighteen? Did you even know what it would do to us when you died alone, Nico? Do you even know just how it would fucking break your sister's heart when she would feel how, how your life string or whatever suddenly snapped like the people who died in the Giant War? This isn't the time for being an angsty little shit and refuse to tell us that you are dying! Tell me, Nico di fucking Angelo, how can this be better?! How can this be better with us being ignorant fools that won't know how long we have the time to spend with you until you're gone for good?  And don't give that fucking busy bullshit! We're your friends, Nico. _Your. Fucking. Friends._ We will always have time for you! I know you've been trying to reach out but for so long—"

Will suddenly cut himself off with a shaky sob, blinking rapidly as he stared at Nico's bedridden form. Nico was glad the curtains were drawn up and there seemed to be no Apollo camper lingering in the cabin long enough to eavesdrop on them but a small, selfish part of him wanted someone to hear what happened to him so he can't tell it to anyone else himself.

He heaved a wheezy sigh.

He was too tired for this.

"For so long," Will repeated in muted horror, as a tear fell down from his face, "you kept quiet about your pain while we pour out ours whenever you called. We didn't even give you a chance to talk whenever you would drop by at Camp."

"Will—"

"All this time," the son of Apollo whispered in a quiet tone, "and you've never even..."

Nico kept silent, even as his eyes burned at the raw pain and emotional agony trickling off of Will's form in thick, depressing waves. Will shouldn't experience this.

"The others have to know," Will choked as he shook his head, sniffing furiously as he wiped his eyes. "Goddammit you have only six months left, no more bullshit reasons on why no one can't know that you're d-dying. We made you do work that other people could have done while you were supposed to be out there, livin—"

"I am dying, but I am not an invalid," Nico interrupted him curtly, glaring at him as much as he can through hazy eyes (Nico should really invest in a pair of glasses), "and I assure you, I have been living my life to the fullest while I was completing my duties as a demigod. Just because I am sick doesn't mean I'm exempted to doing normal things, Will."

The tanned blonde looked ready to argue, before he stopped him with a rueful smile. It didn't reach his eyes, though.

"Well, what have you done then? For the last two and half years of your..." Will trailed off, swallowing harshly as he tried to phrase it around the fact that Nico really is wasting away right in front of him at this very second.

Exhaling through his nose, Nico leveled him an unimpressed look.

"Fuck you," he deadpanned.

"E-Excuse me?!" Restraining the urge to laugh at the indignant squawk that came immediately after, Nico raised an elegant eyebrow.

"I wasn't just hunting down monsters and demigods and doing errands for my father for the last two years," he huffed, "I also traveled across the world. Do you really think that dying won't make me stop doing my work? There's a fine line between dedication and workaholic, thank you very much."

"Look who's talking," Will muttered, sounding just the slightest bit petulant and no less morose.

Nico rolled his eyes. 

And this is why he didn't want them to know in the first place, among a lot of other reasons too. But this was one of the main ones why he lasted for two and a half years. He had already come to terms with it, and by the gods, he would make everyone see it his way or die trying.

 _Heh, die trying._  

He mentally patted himself for a good pun.

"If I was going to die," he continued on even when the other flinched at the callous term, "then I would like it to be something that won't fucking look like a sob story."

"Language, Nico," Will replied reflexively, before furrowing his eyebrows, "wait what?"

"Will," Nico tried to be patient, really, but it was to move on from the depressing atmosphere that decorated the room just moments ago, "I don't have time for you to treat me like glass. Sure I might pass out suddenly or throw up in the middle of eating but I want..." he trailed off in thoughtfulness.

Well, what did he want now that one of his friends knew about his condition?

_What did Nico di Angelo want?_

He thought of Bianca, the way her lips twitched into an exasperated smile whenever he would do something foolish. He thought of Bob, the way he grinned whenever one soul managed to flicker unsteadily like an outdated television. He thought of Percy, the way his lips pulled into a heart-stopping smile whenever he saw Annabeth; of Will, when he would shake his head ruefully with a smile whenever Jake would present to him his every invention liked a proud child showing off his work.

He thought of Hazel, whenever she would look at Frank, something soft and affectionate brewing in her dark eyes as she twitched a smile. And lastly, he thought of Jason, the way he would look at Piper and smile, like she could do anything ugly and it would still look so beautiful.

He thought of their smiles, and thought of how he would like to do them himself once upon a time.

Dying meant a lot of things.

But mostly, it meant to Nico that he only had a couple of time left to be happy and well and truly alive before he goes down to the Underworld for the final time.

Happiness comes in a lot of different packages.

Nico would like to receive one again, selfish as it may sound.

"I want..." he muttered almost to himself as he began to shakily open and close his fists rhythmically before perking up and nearly bumping Will's nose as the other leaned towards him in apparent concern, "I want...to be with you all at least once without having to worry for monsters and gods and just be ourselves."

Go out with a bang, they said.

And no one ever said it has to be a selfless one.

Just this once, Nico would try.

He would try to be alive instead of merely existing.

"Well," the son of Apollo coughed before he grinned somewhat painfully while his eyes shimmered with unshed tears, gently kissing his raven mop of a hair with delicate affection, "that can certainly be arranged."

Nico felt his lips curl into a soft, true smile after months.

Six months left, huh?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**•∆•∆•∆•∆•∆•∆•∆•∆•∆•**

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Nico!"

Said male jolted out of his bed in surprise at the urgency of the tone, eyes screwing shut just as instantly as they had been opened when black spots entered his eyes. Shaking his head furiously as he blinked, hands feeling around him for his glasses as the blurry blonde blob of what could be Jason or Will hovered across him. He found his round glasses squished under his black comforter and blearily began to put them on.

"Wha' happ'n'd?" Nico slurred, voice thick with sleep as the Jason or Will blob took that as their cue to step closer. Something slim caught in his hands, before he felt the cool glass of his prescription glasses.

Gotcha.

Squinting when everything was suddenly upgraded into HD reality, Nico caught the beam of Jason's face when he peered up at him, Percy hovering by the door to his room.

"You need to come to the harbor now," the son of Zeus said, voice deep but warm as he began to squat with his back facing Nico's. "Hurry."

Still too out of it to even protest at the other treating him like a kid, the son of Hades slumped on Jason's broad back and loosely began to wrap his arms around his neck. He flipped off Percy's coo with a sleepy glare.

"S' early," Nico slurred, slipping his eyes shut as he gave a jaw-breaking yawn. "What are we goin' to do?"

"We're going to watch the sun rise."

Wait what.

 

 **What** **.**

 

Judging by the son of Poseidon's eager face, they weren't kidding.

"Are you fucking serious? You just fucking came to wake me the fuck up so that we can watch the fucking sun rise like some fucking son of Apollo?" The door to the Hades loomed behind them as they stepped outside, before the cool night breeze fanned their faces with a gentle caress.

"That's a lot of F-bombs," Percy remarked as he closed the cabin door behind, making his eye twitch.

Well of _course_ it's a lot of F-bombs, the stars are still twinkling in the sky for fuck's sake!

"Told you he wouldn't like it, Jay."

Like was a severe understatement of the century.

Nico di fucking Angelo doesn't _do_ waking up early to watch Apollo's sun chariot rise up in the sky.

"Will's orders," Jason replied all-too cheerily, adjusting his grip over Nico's thin thighs as the trio walked. Well, Nico was carried but details. "Neeks, I know it's not your thing to do these kind of things but humor us for a while, mh? It's going to be pretty beautiful when you watch the sunrise."

"Whatever," Nico grumbled, before releasing another yawn. "I'll take a nap on the—"

"We're almost there," Percy chirped, making his eye twitch.

"Just enlighten me what are we going to do while we wait for the sun to rise."

"Well for one, you can't sleep," Jason quipped, making him snort.

"Thanks for pointing out the obvious, captain," he answered mockingly, before yelping as he nearly fell on the paved ground.

"Pick your battles wisely cousin," the son of Jupiter shot back all too cheerily, making him glower at the back of his head as Percy snickered. "You never know when you'll suffer a humiliating defeat."

"Big words for someone that had just lost a game of Mythomagic yesterday."

Percy nearly _died_ when Jason spluttered at his frank remark.

"I didn't know it was that hard!" the blond defended, but Nico merely looked unimpressed.

"Pick your battles wisely cousin, You never know when you'll suffer a humiliating defeat," he shot back Jason's words at him in a mocking tone, before looking Percy's flushed face expectantly. "That aside, what are we really going to do?"

"Well," Percy started, pretending to think before he laughed Nico's impatient glare. "While we're waiting to watch the sun rise, we're going to have a little bit of fun."

The son of Hades narrowed his eyes, refusing the give in the mounting dread as he saw the glint in those sea green eyes.

"And pray tell," Nico asked smoothly, "is your definition of fun?"

"Chicken fight. On the water. You and me against the world."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(Nico ignored the flutter in his heart at Percy's words, choosing instead to focus on the one game he certainly did _not_ want to play no matter what.)

 

"Jackson what the fuck," Jason scrunched up his face at his words. "That was scarring man. It was the cheesiest of the cheesiest lines you could ever use to our dearest cousin."

"Oh god you're not kidding," Nico gaped at the seriousness in Percy's face, dutifully ignoring Jason's snort of laughter with practiced ease. "Tell me this nightmare isn't true."

"Hey! I'll have you know I'm a pleasant person in dreams." And as if remembering something inherently horrifying, Percy winced immediately amended his earlier words. "Well, most of the time."

"Jason tell me this isn't true."

"Sorry bud but you gotta spend some quality time with Percy. No matter how cheesy he is, that is." Nico wrinkled his nose in disgust.

"First of all, never ever call me bud again and second of all," he groaned as he saw Percy's innocent face. "Why does it have to be a freaking chicken fight, Perce?"

"Well, the hippocampi won't let you ride them," Percy replied, ignoring Nico's mutter of 'of course of they don't duh' as he clasped his hands together with an eager grin. "And Will will kill me if I suggested water polo or diving so chicken fight it is. You and me against the world."

"The joy," he deadpanned back, swatting the son of Poseidon's hand away as it came to ruffle his hair. 

"Gross man," Jason added with an impish grin, making Percy pout.

It wasn't that Nico didn't appreciate what they were doing to him, honest.

But it was increasingly getting harder and harder to stay in the same vicinity as the bright-eyed son of Poseidon, looking very much youthful and happy unlike him.

The painful throb in his heart was making it harder and harder to breathe every time Percy does something like this. 

 

A sigh escaped the raven haired male's lips, squeezing Jason's arm in comfort as he nuzzled deeper on his back.

"You okay?" the blond male whispered so that Percy wouldn't hear, tilting his head to glance at him in concern.

Nico grunted. "Just distract him."

Jason was the only one who knew that the cause of his disease was none other than the guy walking beside them on the dock and although he appreciated Jason's offer of beating Percy up for the son of Poseidon's treatment to his general existence for the past few years, he still had to talk to him. Civilly.

No way was Nico going to hide about his crush anymore. Not with his death looming behind him as the minutes ticked closer and closer to his expiration date.

Once upon a time maybe, Nico would tell Percy about his crush to him and move on with another guy, but things changed.

And as always, the son of Hades had to suffer a lot of change over the course of his short life.

"Tell me if he gets too much, okay?"

"Yes mom," Nico hummed, making Jason roll his eyes.

"Brat," he shot back with fondness that made him cringe and the other to laugh, slightly adjusting his grip on him as they walked.

"But you love me."

A long time ago, Nico di Angelo wouldn't banter with his cousins like this under certain circumstances. But that was before.

And unbeknownst to him, Jason and Percy shared an affectionate look over his head.

 

 

"Always."

 

 

The raven haired male scrunched up his nose. "Are you quoting Harry Potter on me?"

There was a beat of tense silence before Percy piped up with a weak, "Yes...?"

Nico grunted. "I never watched any of their movies."

"Honestly? Same," Jason shrugged at the look of betrayal on Percy's face.

"First of all, how dare you not watch such a classic show..." 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

By the time they had reached the dock, Nico had known more about the world of Harry Potter than he had ever had about his own family history that it was starting to get creepy.

And judging by Jason's similarly disturbed look, he wasn't the only one who wondered where the son of Poseidon found the time to read the entire series. Much less, even sit still to marathon all of its movies and actually remember specific scene.

"What took you so long?" Will demanded as soon they came within sight, making the son of Hades snicker when the son of Apollo immediately started fussing over him as soon as he was gingerly set down on his feet. "I told you that he has to be here after at least after twenty minutes had passed. What part of that twenty minutes don't you understand, Jackson? "

It was amusing how Percy looked like a kicked puppy when the irate male whirled around to glare at him fiercely.

But Nico was starting to get a headache from the other's incessant screeching. 

"Shut up, Solace," he grunted, plopping himself down on the hideously colored picnic blanket (why the flying fuck does it have to be in a gaudy shade of orange and yellow even?) and stretched. "I'm here already and fucking allow me some shut-eye for the love of Zeus before we watch the sun rise."

He rolled his eyes when thunder rumbled from the still dark sky.

"Have you...?"

"Not yet," Nico sighed, leaning heavily against the bark of some tree as he closed his eyes. He didn't need to open them to show three identical frowns, as the blanket rustled when they also sat down. "I'll be okay when it happens. And all of you hardly left me alone so I'm sure I won't choke to death from whatever flower I'm going to throw up by the hundreds today."

"Why won't you just tell us who you fell in love, Neeks?" Will all but whined, making him open eye to stare at him blankly as Jason choked at the other blonde's next words. "Jason already knows so why don't we get to know too?"

"Jason knows?" Percy butted in with a vaguely offended tone, making the son of Jupiter nod with a guilty smile. "Why didn't you tell me, Jay? I thought we were best buds."

"Uh..."

Nico growled.

"Jason didn't say anything because I told him not to and it's not his secret to tell," he hissed as he finally opened his other eye, making the two sulking demigods flinch. "I'd rather make peace with the one who essentially sentenced me to die by myself and have them continue to live free of guilt because it's not and ever will be their fault that I love them and they didn't love me in return instead of you all hounding them and basically forcing them to love me before I die."

"We didn't mean it like that," Will countered in a weak voice, but he wasn't fooled. "We just want to talk...?"

"By talk you mean curse them to speak in rhyming couplets for the rest of their lives," Nico deadpanned.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Well that's better than outright refusing to heal them when they're injured," Will replied with a nonchalant shrug as the son of Hades shared a surprised look with Jason, gaping at the relatively unaffected son of Apollo in surprise.

Did he hear it right?

"You..." Nico muttered in a daze, before shaking his head. "Grace I will fucking skin you alive if you tell him the name."

"Noted," Jason answered weakly as Will pouted.

"Just a hint, Neeks!"

He better talk to Percy when the other was preferably out of range and out of sight because while Nico was half-tempted to curse the son of Poseidon to the high heavens, he was much more inclined to having the male alive and not suffering from Will's wrath.

Knowing the son of Apollo, he would stop at nothing to make sure Percy will suffer the same way if not, half of what Nico suffered just to make sure the son of Poseidon was still alive.

That much he knows, as he watch other two demigods pester a flustered Jason into telling.

Because for all Will was kind and patient in, one was better off being in his good graces.

And the son of Hades knew _that_ from experience. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the one who asked if this was going to be a Percico, I'm not really sure yet if I'm going to include romance into the plot I had in mind but we'll see! And for the one who requested a side story of Jason and Reyna getting together hm...
> 
> I can't say much because that would reveal a lot of the plot but know that you just gave me an idea to add on to my plot!
> 
> I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter! :D


	4. Chapter Three

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

The day Nico died, was quite unnerving at the very least.

Charon had once told him that as a child of Death, he had more say in his own Death than any other mortal in the world. Wryly, the immortal ferryman told him that if he wanted to have his death sooner, he would only need to be involved in a near life and death situation where he could appear in the studio of where the dead souls would be ferried across the River Styx. And even then, the situation would be largely depending on his decision whether he wanted to continue living or not.

Either way, old habits still die hard and whenever he would have a mere inkling of throwing himself at a wandering army of monsters just to get killed, his instincts would take over and the whole point of having himself get involved in near life and death situations was pretty moot when his conscious would found him ankle-deep in monster dust with sweat sticking on his clothes.

And doing suicide by hanging, drowning, jumping off the building, drinking poison and other sorts of suicidal things, never failed to be interrupted.

Always.

One moment Nico was going to put his head on a noose and the next, he was scrambling down the stool and unraveling the knots when Hazel's face shimmered into view via Iris Messaging. And when he would do it again, either a random monster would suddenly attack him or a nearby mortal would look at him in concern (nevermind the fact that the Mist always seemed to desert him when doing things like this) and he would have to explain while he was tying a noose in one of the trees in a renown leisure park in San Francisco and no, he wasn't going to put himself in danger ma'am. He was just using the noose as part of his non-existent exercise regimen and yes ma'am he'll take it down after he's finished.

Bottom line? He would be interrupted until he was basically too annoyed and too tired to muster another attempt and resolved to do it the next day.

And the day after that.

And a week after that.

And a month after that.

By this point, Nico had basically given any hope of doing a decent suicide to end his sickly misery and just went on with his life. Or a lack thereof, that is. If this was the Fates' own way of saying that he deserved to suffer more, then he would gladly throw a party on the hour before his death just so he could rub it in their faces that yes, he was going to die now and there's nothing to entertain you anymore. (His jeers depended on his fluctuating moods.)

Anyway, Nico was simultaneously glad and melancholic when he saw Thanatos lounging at the windowsill of his room on the eve before August 1.

It seemed like the god kept his promise, after all.

It was already late, with the clock striking an hour before midnight and Nico was just finishing up a marathon of all the Marvel movies for one last time. The entire Seven plus Will, and Calypso too had been with him, wholly oblivious that he was going to literally die the next day (he could already feel death filling up the room in thick streams). That is, except for Hazel.

She had plastered herself on to him the moment the movie marathon started, eyes periodically fluttering over to him throughout the course of the marathon and generally just cuddling into his now too frail body as much as she can. Nico took note of this, but judging by the lack of horror and fear overshadowing the light of her face, he deduced that she might not had the same senses as he had when it comes to Life and Death. She probably just thought his powers were acting out again, like they were ought to do nowadays.

"Want us to stay with you man?" Percy yawned, arms coming to stretch his arms up dramatically as he stood up from the beanbag chair. Annabeth flicked his forehead all too fondly, and Nico was suddenly glad that his heart didn't give painful twinges anymore.

"I'll be okay, I think," he murmured, smiling slightly as Will raised an eyebrow at him.

"Is that an answer or a question, Death Boy?"

"Answer," he hurried to reply before the Apollo head counselor could sense something wrong, "I've bothered you enough as it is."

"Bullshit~" Leo singsonged from his spot on another coffin bed, wrapping an arm around Calypso's waist as the goddess shook her head at his antics, "I call bullshit man. Because there's literally no way you're bother when you have a cabin as cool as this one!"

"It looks like it belonged to a vampire," Nico deadpanned, but Leo was undeterred.

"Who knew coffin cushions are this soft? Like man, I would be willing to be the real Dracula just so I could take this coffin from you," Leo caressed the velvety cushions with a dreamy look, "and I could add a few tweaks to it and it will be my own personal coffin bed slash coffin fighting machine!"

Nico looked at him flatly.

"I will not give you the cabin when I die."

"But come on!"

"No."

"Nico~"

"Fuck you."

"Language," Will admonished, before pinching the bridge of his nose when Leo stuck his tongue out at him. "You are not bothering us okay? But we understand if you want some space. Until then, take care of yourself alright? You better be in good shape when we see you again."

"Don't I always?" Nico grumbled as he avoided looking the blonde son of Apollo, before he spied Jason shaking his head at the corner of his eyes.

"We're just worried about you, Nico," the blonde child of Zeus said rather calmly, tugging Piper to her feet as the daughter of Aphrodite kissed his forehead lovingly. "But anyway, you better get some sleep because tomorrow's a big day."

"You're going to have a breakfast of ambrosia and nectar tomorrow," Will informed him a bit too cheerily as Nico's eyes widened in mounting horror, "and then we'll have you take your meds before we go to the other Camp, alright?"

Wha—oh.

August 1. Feast of Spes and a.k.a. the time where they defeated the Earth Mother a little over three years ago.

Oh, oh, oh.

Time really does fly fast.

"I'll see you out on th—" Nico started before Hazel hushed him.

"Your eyelids are literally dropping like bricks, big brother," Hazel pointed out none too gently, ruffling his hair as she eased him down on his bed. "It's best if you should get some sleep now."

"But it's after curfew," Nico slurred slightly, blinking back his suddenly drooping eyes as he repressed a yawn. "The har—"

"Are not going to maul them because Chiron told them not to, remember?" Hazel reminded him patiently, making Nico stare at her blankly for  moment before the memory registered his mind.

"Oh."

His face must have been rather pitiful as Annabeth approached him before kneeling to meet his gaze. Blonde hair pulled back into a high ponytail bobbed behind her as she walked towards him.

"It's not your fault," the daughter of Athena told him not unkindly, patting his cheek in tender affection that made Nico want to cry because how could she be so kind when he spent half of his life cursing her very existence and at times when he was at his lowest, debating whether to kill her himself because she had something he would trade his own life for just to have? "Aphrodite did say you would experience memory lapses sooner or later in your third year. But that doesn't mean you have to give up without a fight, okay?"

Nico swallowed heavily before nodding.

"We're going to get through this," the blonde female continued firmly, gray eyes blazing as she gripped his bony hand tightly, "and you're going to grow old with us or so help me I will go back down the Underworld and have you regret leaving us for good."

"We did it before and we can do it again," Percy quipped unhelpfully as the rest of the Seven lingered at the door, receiving an exasperated stare from Annabeth as she shook her head ruefully with a fond smile.

"I don't like it when people interrupt me, Seaweed Brain."

"But you love me, Wise Girl."

"Shut up."

"I love you too, Annie," Percy cooed, making Annabeth's glare intensify.

"Call me that again and you will lose something very important to you, Perseus Jackson."

Next to them, Leo pretended to gag.

"We were having heart to heart here, not a lover to lover here thank you very much!" Leo interrupted loudly, making Hazel giggle as Frank sighed.

"It's nearly midnight," the Praetor murmured quietly to Hazel's ear, "it's way too late for this."

"Just a few moments more, Frank," Hazel smiled, patting a burly arm as they sat back and watched.

"Leo?" Calypso piped up quietly from her spot besides Piper, making the Latino whirl around to face her in eager curiosity.

"Yes, my hot babe of a girlfriend?"

"Shut up." Leo paused and quieted just as instantly as the words flowed out of the goddess' mouth.

Jason and Percy snickered, making Leo begin to open his mouth to retort before a raised eyebrow from Ogygia's goddess snapped his mouth shut.

"Whipped," Jason chortled, nudging Percy's arm before Piper called out to him.

"Jason?"

"Yes Pipes?"

"Will you get me a glass of water and sit down beside me?" the son of Hades resisted a snort as the charmspeak laced itself heavily on the polite request.

"Sure thing. Just wait a second, okay?"

Percy outright guffawed.

Nico lidded his eyes as he watched the interactions around him, blurring his already blurry gaze (the glasses should have been replaced a week ago since he can't see through them clearly anymore but what's the point of creating another set of glasses when he was going to die a week after?) as he stared at Annabeth's blob. He was severely tempted to tell her he probably won't even be going past the third year mark, because his very existence was already heeding the call of Death with opened arms. And that he wasn't even sure if he could wake up tomorrow and move, what with Thanatos now making himself known.

At best, he could last until five minutes after 12:01 PM on August 1 if he willed it enough. It was the least he could do for the others who had tried so hard to be with him every minute of the day.

"Okay." Everyone jumped at his quiet reply. He cleared his throat, barely stopping himself from exploding into a fit of coughs as he raised his voice, "I'll be there tomorrow."

"Promise me you'll wake up tomorrow," she demanded, making Nico blink sluggishly in an attempt to delay his sleep. "And we're going to be at Camp Jupiter to celebrate with Reyna and the others."

But what if he couldn't wake himself up? What if he woke up and found himself at Charon's studio, waiting with the other souls to be ferried across the River Styx to be welcomed on his father's Palace for the final time?

This would be the another promise he would have to break, another promise to taint on his already tarnished name. It tasted bitter on his lips as he uttered the fateful words.

"...I promise."

Annabeth may or may not have noticed the delay in his reply, but nonetheless, she smiled at him before giving him a tight hug as she stood up and backed away when Hazel stepped in. One by one, they all went outside of his room.

"Sweet dreams, big brother," she whispered, tone so lovingly sweet that Nico's breath hitched. She kissed his forehead with gentle tenderness, lips lingering ever so slightly as Nico forced himself to smile while she hugged his tightly. 

"I love you, Hazel," he croaked as she set back to look at him, eyes blinking in an effort to memorize her features, or what was left of her he could through his nearly-blind eyes. 

Her curls looked like a messy bob, her features all but indistinguishable but the warmth of her gaze was never lost on Nico. At the very least, he was able to pick up that in spite of of his failing sight.

"I love you too, big brother," Hazel replied a moment too long, voice hitching in a way that made Nico smile sluggishly.

"'m still see you 'morrow," he slurred, voice thick with drowsiness. "don't worry 'bout it."

One by one, they began to leave, with Hazel and Frank being the last. His eyes felt too heavy to even blink now, making him surrender to darkness as he breathed shallowly.

"My Prince?"

On any other day, he would have told the god off for addressing him like that. But alas, he was too weak to even crack open one eye.

There was a soft sigh from beside him, before something cold grasped his right wrist. Nico stifled a groan, feeling the exhaustion from his get ripped away in seconds as he finally opened his eyes to stare on Thanatos' blurry form.

"Unless I'm to die this midnight, I don't see why you have to do this considering that it takes a lot of your energy to hinder the process of Death itself," he snapped tiredly, but Thanatos merely blinked.

"But you are, my Prince," the god of Death rumbled, making him stiffen, "you are to not live past 12:01 in the morning tomorrow. What I am doing is nothing compared to the ache of reaping you before the curse runs a full circle."

Nico should have expected to feel that bone-crushing helplessness and sadness that came with being unable to extend his time any longer but instead, what he felt was sickening, heart-lightening relief.

"Was Father made aware of this?" he asked after a few moments, making Thanatos hum.

"He is aware yes, but he is not aware that you will not be passing his realm once you die."

Nico narrowed his eyes. "What do you mean?"

"The Fates made an error in their weave," Thanatos intoned quietly, monotonous voice sounding much more forboding that Nico cared to feel. "It is of no importance before, until you contracted Aphrodite's curse. You see, you are supposed to live an old life, as a reward for aiding the gods into two immortals wars. The Fates themselves had made sure of this, until Lachesis noticed something was wrong. They have granted me to give you this information, because only you are affected by what will happen once you die."

"And that means?" 

"You will cease to exist once Atropos cuts your life thread and I, reap your soul."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The son of Hades blinked, before he exhaled.

"What."

"Every soul is granted a chance on being reborn," the god explained, tapping his fingers on his flesh in contemplation while he stared at the almost blind demigod, "most especially to those who have made an impact on humanity. What the Fates made is to deprive you of that chance, robbing you of any attempt to live a different life without remembering your old memories.

"How they aim to remedy that, depends on you."

"Me," Nico echoed, unsure on what to feel after being told he wouldn't essentially exist anymore after this life. 

Is it too bad to say that he just wanted to have a happy life?

"The Fates have granted me the power to bring your soul back through time, where they haven't made that mistake so that you can be reborn once more," Thanatos replied, "it would cause a great imbalance on future generations if you cease to exist, as everyone deserves to be reborn. The only catch, is that you have to relive your life up to this moment once again, with the knowledge of what will happen next."

Nico's mouth went dry.

Back through time?

He would have to relive everything?

 

 

For what? Just for one fucking mistake?

"Are you serious?" he asked, tone vaguely hysterical as he tried to latch his arm away from Thanatos' grasp. Unfortunately for him, the god held on.

"You want to relive my entire life with the knowledge that I know what's going to happen next and who's going to die?" His voice cracked, a tear unwillingly falling from his eye as he stared at the blurry shape of where the god is supposed to be. "Haven't I done enough?!"

"You have done more than enough, my Prince," Thanatos stated almost gently, tugging him closer. "For that, the Fates is willing to give you a compromise."

"I don't wan--"

"You will have a soulmate in this second life, one who is suited to be with you in every single way," Thanatos cut him off, making him growl. "And to protect you from Aphrodite's curse, as it is a by-producr of the error the Fates made in their weave."

"So you're just going to chain some soul to me in the guise of soulmates?!"

"Not quite," the god was unfazed at the insulting implication, sighing at his actions, "everyone has soulmates, my Prince. A lot of them just don't find it within their lifetimes."

"And who," Nico tried to keep his voice even, "who is my soulmate?"

Someone who will love him...

_All of him..._

"You will not know until the Fates themselves tell you to, if you agree that is."

His eye twitched.

"What's the," he gestured mindlessly around him as he squinted at Thanatos' form, "catch in all this?"

"Nothing, my Prince," the god was quick to reply, and is it just him or did he sense a smile emanating from the immortal? "It is the Fates' fault, thus they are welcome to any possible changes that will occur as they fix the error upon the weavd that is connected to your life thread. Though, I must caution on you not to change too much, because it will create an imbalance that would require the Fates themselves to carry the original intention of the error and make everyone forget that you exist. That in any plane and dimension of existence, you will neither be born or exist anymore."

The demigod grunted at that.

Well at least he could have some limitation to what kind of fuck-up he's going to submerge himself into,  _again._

Really.

What were the chances that he could avoid almost all of his mistakes handed to him on a silver platter with a gold spoon?

"What point," he swallowed, before clearing his throat, "in my life, are you going to pull me into?"

"Well, that is for you to find out."

His heart thundered rapidly at the cryptic reply, thankful for once that it didn't carry the usual agony after every frantic beat.

Should he take this chance?

He thought of the instances in life that led to this, allowing him to progress on his life up to this with the kind of thinking he has now.

Should Nico take this chance?

His mouth opened to form a no, but his soul thundered a yes.

"I hope to meet you again soon, my Prince," was the low rumble from Thanatos, before his cold hand released his wrist.

Instantly, pure pain wracked through his body.

A scream was torn from his lips, his back arching as he convulsed. His lungs seemed to have collapsed, flowers choking him as it filled his trachea. Every breath was too painful, like stems and roots were digging on his chest.

"You are, after all, the only one who is worthy to be called my Prince."

Thanatos should have known his Prince was a selfish person after all, because he didn't need a reply to realize what he wanted to say.

At 12:00 AM, on August 1, 2013, Nico di Angelo died from Hanahaki Disease.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Mamma, he's waking up!"

Stifling a wheezy gasp as he felt his body screamed in pure agony as he opened his eyes, his blood froze when he saw a familiar face.

No, this can't be.

No, no, no, no,  _no._

"How are you feeling, fratellino?"

There was a pause, when he did nothing but stare wide-eyed at the familiar visage of a much younger version of Bianca di Angelo; much,  _much_ younger than the Bianca he had seen before she went off on  _that_ quest and died. Even then, he could never forget the crinkle on the corner of her eyes whenever she would look at him in concern.

"Nico?" she tried again, face scrunching in confusion as her small hand came to grip his own and even smaller hand resting on a maroon quilted blanket. The warmth in her hand was unreal, and Nico was suddenly struck with the strangest feeling of displacement. "Fratellino, what's wrong?"

Everything was too much.

And maybe this wasn't best of things to do but give him a break.

For the first time since Nico awoke after dying, he screamed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! After almost a year omg
> 
> I hope you'll enjoy this chapter aaa
> 
> Sorry for the long wait ;-;


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